I was lacking motivation lately and felt overwhelmed with all the things happening around me.
I don't know what happened, but my motivation is back! I realized that the time is now and this moment will never come back again, so I want to give my best right now!
So: - Tomorrow I will start studying again - I will stop the procrastination right now!
Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
The new semester has started. As usual it's one big chaos, but I feel that this time it's even more chaotic.
I've realized two things:
First of all: I'm not at all mentally prepared to start a new semester. I am normally very excited about it, but at the moment I don't feel like going to any classes and I must force myself to go there, if I go at all. I don't have an overview over my time table, nor have I bought any books so far. I've promised myself that from next week on I will start working, but at the moment it feels like I'm being physically present at the University, but mentally I'm somewhere else.
Secondly: I have started delegating many tasks and I am taking things much easier. I know that I can trust my team a 100% and I don't feel the need to be everywhere all the time. From the outside people might think that I'm still very much in control of the situation, but I've noticed an immense change in my inner attitude.
Both things are linked to the way I'm feeling at the moment: Just go with the flow! I just let myself being guided by my destiny at the moment and trust that someone is leading me through this very intense and stressfull time of my life.
Stress. It's a word so overused in my vocabulary that people don't even react anymore when I mentioned it. :) They just give a shrug and complain about their own stress instead. :)
I have been thinking about this a lot this week. Especially because I have two weeks to my disposition to work for AIESEC, prepare the agenda for my new semester at University, work a bit more for ABB and have time to sleep long in the morning and relax. All in all, finish all the unfinished things and start the new semester full of energy.
Looking back at the last week I achieved quite a lot of things, but I'm still far from where I want to be. And instead of being relaxed, I'm so tense that my head is aching.
First I was wondering, if once more I'm expecting too much from myself. But looking at the list, it's very much feasible.
Then I'm wondering where the problem is lying?
I actually like being under pressure and stressed. I would be lying if it said it was otherwise. I performe well under pressure and I like having a full programme. But I guess, as shown in the graphic below, I'm too quickly moving into the "negative stress zone", into disorganization.
What I have to do is to get better organized and improve the efficency. And relax inbetween. Well, I've seen on other blogs that people use the blog to do just this. What I wanna do next week is to have so called "killer-hours", where I work efficiently for one or two hours and then have time to do other things like jogging or meeting friends afterwards. I will put down the planning tomorrow and make myself accountable with this blog.
It's funny, how sometimes you might read a poem several times and it doesn't tell you anything. And then suddenly it speaks directly to your heart and you understand every word of it...
That's what happened with this poem that has been hanging on the wall in my room for two years. It's an extract of the Ballad of Reading Gaol, written by Oscar Wilde.
My parents drove me and my luggage to Geneva and stayed with me for the weekend. Every time I’m amazed how many things I carry with me. How is it possible, that it looks like I’m moving house every time? That’s definitely something I should work on: Simplifying my luggage.
It was great having my parents here with me. We went out for long walks to see the city and enjoyed nice dinners together. They also did amazing things to my apartment while I was at the LC Office working. Thank you so much for everything! They support me so much. Sometimes I don’t know how I deserve them.
I now realize how much I actually missed Geneva: My room, my fridge, the university, our LC-Office, the lake, speaking French, hearing more than 5 different languages in the tram, my flat mates, my books, the Pizzeria in front of my apartment, my tea, and so on.
But most of all I’m happy to meet all the “Genevans” again (most of them aren’t from Geneva ;) ). On Saturday Night I met my EB again and many other Chickens and Interns. We had so much fun, my abs are still hurting. I’m so much looking forward spending time with them this semester.
So, I’m prepared for the next weeks: My room is clean and newly decorated, my new laptop is working properly, my to-do-list is updated and after some weeks of work at ABB I finally have some money on my bank account. The only thing that is missing is some sleep (that I have neglected lately) and discipline!
I’m accepting the challenge of the next weeks! I’m back!
